


It's Not Your Fault

by kellebelle



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Steve Feels, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark is not a therapist, he has some common sense every now and then i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-31
Updated: 2014-12-31
Packaged: 2018-03-04 12:49:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3068540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kellebelle/pseuds/kellebelle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve and Tony have a talk in the rain.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's Not Your Fault

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MemoryDragon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MemoryDragon/gifts).



> This is my gift for MemoryDragon and I'm so embarrassed because my writing is subpar compared to theirs. I hope it's digestible though. I don't know if this is exactly what you wanted, but it's what popped into my head when I read the prompt.
> 
> _Romance in the rain._
> 
> Merry Christmas!

Steve grabbed Tony’s hand, holding firmly onto it as they waited for the elevator to get up to Tony’s penthouse. Neither of them were sure how to end their first date. They were both smiling like idiots and walked out of the elevator as the doors opened.

 

“So uh…” Tony started.

 

“I just wanted…”

 

The both stopped talking and laughed awkwardly.

 

“I had a good time,” Tony finally blurted out, and he might have been blushing a little.

 

“Yeah. Me too.”

 

Another awkward silence.

 

“We should do it again.”

 

“I’d like that,” was Steve’s reply, genuine and with a smile that Tony had said earlier that lit up a room. He’d tried to take it back and then cover it up with a joke, but Steve had semi-graciously accepted it.

 

Tony nodded once, sharply. “Good. Good. That’s good.”

 

Steve swallowed and took a step closer to the genius. “So is this goodnight?”

 

“Does it have to be,” Tony questioned, eyebrow arched.

 

The soldier exhaled and smiled. “No. Not at all. I was hoping it wouldn’t be.”

 

Tony needed something to do with his hands and began sliding them up and down Steve’s biceps. Steve took that as his cue and leaned into the genius, cupping his face with his hands, and pressed a kiss to his lips. The tension left both of them, their kiss started to heat up.

 

_‘Sir. Pardon the interruption.’_

 

Steve pulled away, and Tony tried to chase his lips.

 

“What is it, JARVIS?” Tony asked somewhat scornfully.

 

_‘There’s been a sighting. I thought Captain Rogers would like to be made aware.’_

 

Tony looked at Steve’s face and Steve blinked. He felt his body tense up and the air seemed to be escaping his lungs rapidly.

 

“Where?”

 

_‘I am sending the coordinates directly to your phone, Captain Rogers.’_

 

“Thanks. I uh…” he ran a hand through his hair and gave Tony an apologetic look. “I need to…”

 

“Do you want me to…”

 

Steve cut him off. “No no. It’s...I need to go.”

 

Tony chewed on the bottom of his lip before nodding in agreement. “Absolutely. I’ll be here on the other end if you happen to need anything.”

 

Steve smiled. He knew he wouldn’t use it. He always maintained radio silence on missions like these, and it had been months since the last sighting. Enough time for him to slowly ease back into a life he was becoming comfortable with. He couldn’t though. Bucky was out there and Steve needed to see him. He needed to talk to him, to get him to remember. He wanted his best friend back and he vowed to go through hell or high water to bring him back one day.

 

Steve walked briskly back onto the waiting elevator and Tony moved to follow. Steve held up a hand. “No. I won’t be here long. Just packing a few necessities before I leave.”

 

The genius stopped. “Okay.” Steve saw a flash of what he thought might be hurt cross Tony’s face. “Let me know when you’re in the air at least. Yeah?”

 

Guilt. It hit Steve like an oncoming train. He realized he was dropping everything, including Tony, so he could leave as early as possible to track down Bucky, and while he knew Tony wanted to seem indifferent, the truth was that Steve wasn’t even taking the time to say goodbye properly and Tony was most likely taking it as a rejection.

 

“Wait.” He stepped from the elevator again and grabbed Tony’s face, kissing him roughly, a kiss of promises that he fully intended to keep. All too soon it was over though. “I’ll be back. You know I will.”

 

“Of course, Steve. Just be safe, okay?”

 

The soldier gave him a smile. “I promise I will try not to get killed.”

 

The look Tony shot him was something he’d have to think about later. Tony wanted to come with him and help, but Steve had forbidden it numerous times even though he’d allowed the guy with the wings to go along. He felt guilty Sam was risking his own life, he wasn’t going to put Tony at risk too.

 

He walked back onto the elevator and the doors shut, taking him on the first leg of his journey to find his best friend once again.

 

***

 

_6 months earlier..._

 

Steve Rogers, despite his stunning inability to successfully tell a believable lie, was always very good at bottling up his emotions and playing it cool when tension was bubbling just under the surface. Ever since his initial encounter with the Winter Soldier, he’d been finding ways to distract himself and let out some pent up energy. His team had been a big help in different ways.

 

Natasha turned out to be a good ear when Steve was struggling to hold it together on the worst of his days. In the midst of her trying to reinvent herself after spilling all of SHIELD’s, and in turn HYDRA’s, deepest secrets onto the Internet, still found time to email Steve, text Steve, call him even. She wasn’t the only one though. They all reached out to him for different reasons, but did so in order to keep him grounded.

 

After numerous unsuccessful attempts to locate Bucky, Steve had become a bit moody. Clint said moody was an understatement. Clint had a concussion after the last time he sparred with Steve. So maybe Steve was dealing with some anger issues. It’s bound to happen. He’d lost everything he had in his life before the ice. The Howling Commandos. Howard. Peggy. Bucky. He’d had to start over, and it didn’t leave a good taste in his mouth. He spent a long time feeling sorry for himself, but after the whole battle against the Chitauri, he’d learned that he wasn’t the only one who was necessarily alone in the world, just not in the way he was.

 

Except maybe Thor. He was from another realm, so he was a stranger too. Natasha and Clint. Once upon a time they had well-hidden secrets. They had each other and perhaps they were all the other needed. He still wasn’t sure how to classify their relationship. Banner, of course, had his own unique monster to deal with. Alone.

 

Tony though.

 

Tony was on top of the world. He was adored by people who didn’t know him personally, and those who did were regularly tested. Even with all of that, Steve figured it must get pretty lonely at the top. Tony was quick witted and socially awkward, but well-versed in how to handle the spotlight. It had taken awhile for everyone to actually see Tony for who he really was, and he turned out to be the exact opposite of what Steve had first assumed. Even though they were influenced by Loki’s staff, Steve still regretted the things he said. He’d tried apologizing but Tony waved him off and said it wasn’t necessary.

 

Eventually the tension between all team members died down. Well mostly. Enough to matter. Steve found himself spending most of his free time with Tony and ignoring comments from his less mature teammates (that’s right Clint) about Steve and Tony sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g. He hated that he was so easy to read and it took him longer than it should have (try five months) to realize that Tony’s feelings for him were mutual.

 

Steve bit the metaphorical bullet, asked the genius out on a date, and was relieved when Tony enthusiastically told him yes. With the way that his heart had been hammering in his chest he felt like he’d turned back into that awkward asthmatic kid he once was. He was still awkward but at least the asthma was gone.

 

A week later, they finally got to that date because Steve, with his all too perfect timing, had blurted out the question to Tony just as the genius was leaving for a business trip on the other side of the world.

 

***

 

_One month later…_

 

Steve returned to the tower, exhausted physically and emotionally and without hide nor hair of Bucky. He thought he was going to be successful this time, and he had found his old friend. The shell of his old friend. He ended up having a fairly one-sided conversation with the brainwashed assassin. It had not gone as well as he would have liked.

 

He knew Bucky was in there though. Somewhere. Steve had caught glimpses, brief glimpses in the way Bucky would scowl at him or roll his eyes. The blond tried to tell himself it was good he was able to annoy Bucky enough to warrant said scowl and eye roll, even if their conversation had been nothing he’d felt good about. This had been their worst encounter with each other yet that didn’t include much violence. He’d had to restrain the winter soldier a few times, but the harder he tried the more he felt like he was going to lose Bucky forever. Again.

 

He quietly made his way to his own suite, shield on his back and a bag slung over one of his shoulders. He was in need of a shower and a nap. He felt too wound up to interact with others but too depressed to go work off some of the tension in his shoulders and back.

 

_‘Welcome home, Captain. Would you like me to alert the others of your presence?’_

 

Steve looked down, pawing at the back of his neck. “Not right now,” he murmured. “I need some sleep.”

 

_‘Very well. I believe sir will be relieved to hear you have returned safely.’_

 

The soldier sighed, his shoulders slumping. He wanted to see Tony, to have Tony hold him and tell him things would work out in the end, but he couldn’t. He wouldn’t. And he knew Tony would never lie to him like that anyway.

 

“Let him know I’m here. Just that I need a few hours before I see anyone.” Honestly he didn’t want to see anyone at all. He didn’t want to hear their questions about how things went, to hear their apologies and see the pity in their eyes when they learn he once again failed and would probably continue to do so.

 

_‘As you wish, Captain Rogers.’_

 

He peeled off his shirt and pants, letting them land next to the foot of his bed. His shower was quick and then he was in bed, burying himself under his blankets. Maybe he’d wake up only to find this past month had been nothing but a bad dream. Maybe he was dreaming right now and he’d wake up to find his best friend was really here with him.

 

Maybe all the guilt he felt would go away one day.

 

***

 

_“It’s me. It’s Steve. You know me. You know it’s true.”_

_“I don’t know you.”_

_“Yes! You do. You’ve known me your whole life!”_

_“What do you want from me?”_

_“Listen to me. Please. That’s all I’m asking.”_

_The sound of silence was all the cue Steve needed to continue._

_“You were my **best** friend. We went through so much together and I want to help you. You were the most important person in my life. You still are. You always will be. I want to help you remember who you are.”_

_“Why?”_

_“Because you’re my best friend! Till the end of the line, Buck.”_

 

Steve was drawn back to the present, fists still pummeling the punching bag in front of him, when he heard a throat clear. He was breathing deeply and looked down at his hands. He hadn’t even bothered to tape them up and now they were torn and bleeding.

 

He turned to look at the intruder. Tony. He was standing back a little, eyes focused on Steve’s hands.

 

“I think Mr Punching Bag is currently winning but I don’t know. I’m not keeping score. You’re back.”

 

Steve frowned and looked down at his hands, opening and closing them. “Just getting started.”

 

“For two hours?”

 

“What do you want, Tony?”

 

“Okay so there’s that. Whatever. You’re clearly upset so I’m going to avoid arguing with you right now.”

 

Steve briefly shut his eyes and exhaled. “Sorry. I’m tired. Tired. That’s all. I think I might go back to bed.”

 

“And miss dinner? Bruce made us a whole meal. There’s also pie. Or cake. Some sort of celebratory dessert. Natasha’s here for a visit so since we have everyone here, team bonding. You love team bonding.”

 

“Not tonight.” He rubbed at his forehead. “I haven’t slept much in a...week or so. I’ll pass.”

 

“But, Steve, we were…”

 

“No, Tony!” Steve snapped. Tony jumped, eyes wide for a moment. “Just no.”

 

Tony blew out a breath, rocking on his heels a little. “Okay, okay. Hearing you loud and clear. You’re not in the mood. Do you want me to join you in bed?”

 

“Is now really the time for being suggestive?”

 

“That’s a no.” The billionaire held up his hands, palms out. “I just thought you’d want company. It wasn’t a come on, but don’t worry about it. We’ll talk whenever you’re in the mood to socialize or whatever. I have too many things to do anyway.”

 

Great. He was never going to stop messing things up. He opened his mouth to apologize but Tony turned and walked quickly from the room without a word. He hadn’t even meant to snap at Tony. All he’d wanted was Tony after the hellish month he had, but instead he’d hurt his feelings or just pissed him off. Probably both knowing Tony.

 

***

 

Steve had managed to avoid everyone for about a week. Tony hadn’t attempted to bother him once, but he knew the genius was checking in on him through JARVIS since the AI appeared to be asking how he was doing a lot more frequently than normal. He was somewhat surprised JARVIS hadn’t tried to retaliate after the way he’d treated Tony and that seemed like something Tony would code into all of his machines.

 

Then he found himself being cornered by Natasha.

 

“So, Steve, I heard you were here but no one has actually seen or heard from you. Other than Tony who has told everyone to leave you alone.”

 

Steve gave a half-hearted shrug. “Trying to get readjusted to the time here and…”

 

“Bullshit, Rogers. You don’t need that much time to adjust. What’s going on?”

 

“Nothing, Natasha.”

 

“You sure about that? I mean, if you want to talk about it, you can. Did you and Bucky get to ta-?”

 

“I’m not discussing this right now.”

 

“Steve,” she said, voice softer this time. “You’re being too hard on yourself.”

 

Steve let out a self-deprecating laugh and shook his head. “No. I don’t agree.”

 

“You and I both know what he’s like. We were both there when he tried to kill you. If you can’t talk to me about it at all, then who can you talk to? We’re friends, Cap.”

 

“Yeah. That’s…” what I’m scared about right now, he finished without speaking. “I know.”

 

She put a reassuring hand on his shoulder and gave him a knowing smile. “Don’t give up hope.”

 

He found himself feeling guilty when he realized that’s exactly what he had done.

 

“We’re playing video games later.”

 

“Okay,” Steve replied.

 

“You’re going to be there even if I have to drag your butt out there with the rest of us.”

 

Natasha, Steve realized, was not joking.

 

He’d ended up right next to Tony on the couch who had smiled and handed him a controller. Steve took it, smiling quickly and then turned his attention to the tv screen. Tony didn’t try to bother him. He was strangely silent but Steve could still feel his eyes on him.

 

He loved his teammates so much. He was so happy to have them in his life no matter how nosey they were, but they didn’t question him about his trip once and he relaxed for the first time in over a month. They were his family now.

 

And he knew he’d probably outlive all of them as well.

 

Except for Thor for obvious reasons.

 

Project Rebirth had given Steve everything he’d wanted and needed to be the man he set out to be. It increased his longevity and health, and he knew he’d probably have to watch all of them die off too.

 

He tried not to think about that. It hurt too much.

 

***

 

The next few weeks went by and Steve’s moodiness level increased by 100 percent. His teammates had tried to engage him in conversation on several occasions, but his temperament was everywhere and no one no longer knew what to expect from him. Most interactions occurred when he instigated them.

 

And he’d hurt Tony several times simply by ignoring or avoiding him. Tony had mentioned a second date and Steve turned him down. Tony had tried to hug him, to kiss him, to just be close and Steve blew him off every single time. He was being an asshole but Tony wasn’t calling him out on it. He played it off each time as if he’d known his intentions were a bad idea from the start and he was just testing to see what he could get away with. Or some other excuse similar to that.

 

He was ashamed to admit to himself that what Bucky had said to him had impacted him more than he’d ever imagined. Not Bucky though. He wasn’t Bucky. That was the whole point.

 

“Steve, so I think I found…”

 

“Not now, Tony.”

 

“But, Steve. If you would listen…”

 

“Please. Not right now.”

 

A frustrated Tony tossed his hands up into the air and stormed out.

 

This scene played out several times with the same outcome every time. The problem was the fact that Tony was so persistent and kept coming back and coming back. He’d stopped inquiring about a second date though and stopped trying to be affectionate. He even stopped sitting next to Steve on the couch during movie night or when they were playing video games.

 

He’d found himself wondering if Tony had given up on him.

 

It would serve him right.

 

As luck would have it though, Tony’s patience ran out by the end of week three. Steve was so focused on his run that it took him awhile to notice the car that seemed to be driving alongside him while he ran. When he did, he stopped and looked down at the driver, eyes going wide.

 

“Tony? What are you doing?”

 

Tony’s window went down and he popped his head out. “We need to talk.”

 

“Right now?”

 

“Why not? It doesn’t seem like any other time is convenient and you have been running away from me.”

 

“You’re slowing down traffic.”

 

“Then get in and I won’t be doing that anymore. It’s about to rain anyway.”

 

“Can we just do this when I get back?”

 

Tony laughed and looked straight out his front windshield. “Yeah no. Have you forgotten the part where I said you keep running away from me?”

 

Steve sighed and crossed his arms over his chest. “What?”

 

“Get in the car first.”

 

“No.”

 

“Steve, I swear to god and all these angry drivers behind me right now that if you do not get into this stupid car I will get out and scream at you until you talk to me.”

 

When Steve opened his mouth to speak, Tony interrupted.

 

“You’ve never been the kind of person to run away from your problems. Why start now?”

 

“I’m not running away from my problems, Tony.”

 

“Oh really? Then what are you running away from?”

 

Steve didn’t say anything for awhile. “The future. The present.”

 

Tony frowned. “Get in the car.”

 

“Just stop it! Stop bothering me! Stop! You’re wasting your time.”

 

“Funny enough, that’s now how I see it, but you seem to forget that I can match you in the game of stubborn assholes.”

 

Steve rolled his eyes and Tony turned off the car, climbing out and waving at all the cars honking behind him.

 

“You’re going to get your car towed, you know?”

 

Tony shrugged. “Wouldn’t be the first time. Why won’t you talk to me?”

 

“Because there’s nothing to talk about.”

 

“Nothing? Really? Nothing at all? I’m hearing everything you’re saying but there are also plenty of things you’re not saying. You’ve been acting like this since you came back from your last trip to find your old best friend. What happened, Steve?” It was then that the rain started to pour.

 

“Nothing happened.”

 

“Stop lying to me, Cap! I get it! You’re upset and brooding and you apparently can’t tell up from down or whatever phrase would apply to your current situation that would actually make sense. If you don’t want to be with me anymore, that’s fine. I won’t push it, but you owe me an explanation. You owe me that much.”

 

“It isn’t important. It’s stupid and it’s not important and you’re making things harder by doing this.”

 

“Harder for who? For you?”

 

Steve looked around, glad to see they weren’t attracting a crowd. It was hard to surprise New Yorkers. Most of them have heard and seen it all. He hung his head. “Please don’t do this. Don’t make me talk about this, Tony.”

 

“Why? What’s going to happen if you do talk about it?”

 

The soldier just shook his head and looked away. He didn’t have an answer. He didn’t want to bare his soul. He didn’t want to talk about why he was avoiding everyone he cared about and why he was longing for the past more than ever right now.

 

“Steve,” Tony murmured, placing a hand on his shoulder. “What is going on?”

 

He swallowed the lump in his throat and looked Tony in the eyes for the first time since he’d returned. He rubbed his hand over his face, rivulets of water falling from his bangs and into his eyes. Tony, who of course was wearing a nice and probably very expensive suit, looked like he’d just gone for a swim in the Hudson River but his gaze didn’t waver and Steve knew that if he didn’t talk at all he’d probably end up losing his friends for good anyway.

 

“I can’t…” he inhaled deeply and let out the breath slowly. “I just thought I’d be able to get to Bucky this time, you know?”

 

Luckily Tony didn’t say anything. He waited for Steve to continue.

 

“I miss him, Tony. I miss him so much. And the fact that he’s out there makes it hurt worse. Because he never died. He was tortured and turned into a weapon and when I see him all I feel is guilt and the knowledge that it would have been better if he had died because he wouldn’t have had to have gone through all of that. And then I feel guilty for thinking that.”

 

Another breath, fists clenched at his side. “He’s my best friend and I just want him back. I want back the guy who was always there, who always had my back. I want all of it back but he refuses to talk to me. And when he does it’s not much. He’s so angry and quiet and not at all like he used to be.”

 

“Because he’s not,” Tony added somewhat softly.

 

“I know that! But he can be. I just need to find him in there and trying to bring him back out.”

 

“Steve, whatever it was they did to him is going to leave him broken until the day he dies. That’s nothing you can fix.”

 

“I know! Fuck, I know that! I understand that. I want to help him. I want him to remember me and I want him to know that I’m here and that I’ll always be here but I can’t if he refuses to let me. I can’t bring him back if he keeps running away.”

 

“Look, Cap,” he squeezed his shoulder. “I get it. I know. But, Steve, he’s not Bucky anymore. He’s not your friend. He’s was programmed and no matter what you do, he’s never going to be the same again.”

 

“But that doesn’t mean…”

 

“Yes. Yes it does. Even if you do make him remember who he is, he’s not going to go back to being the guy he was. There’s no way. It’s never going to happen.”

 

Steve shut his eyes as another voice filled his head.

 

_“It’s **not** going to happen! I’m **not** Bucky and we’re **not** friends. Why can’t you see that? Whatever you’re looking for? It’s not here. I’m not whoever you knew and I **never** will be.”_

_“Bucky…”_

_“Stop! Stop it! Leave!”_

_“Not happening…”_

_Steve wasn’t prepared for the metal arm that hit him in the face, but when he stood up not one second later, Bucky was nowhere to be seen._

_He’d failed._

 

“You sound just like him,” Steve said, hanging his head when he felt tears in his eyes. “He pretty much told me the same thing. He was all I had and I can’t...I can’t do a thing for him.”

 

“All you had?”

 

Steve gave a ridiculous laugh. “I just wanted to bring back my best friend. It’s my fault this happened in the first place…”

 

“First of all, no. No it’s not your fault, Cap. None of it is. None of us will ever for one second believe that it’s your fault.”

 

“You weren’t there…”

 

“What was it Aunt Peggy used to tell me? Barnes made his choice. You didn’t force him to go. He followed you because you were his best friend and he trusted you.”

 

Steve chewed on his thumb, anything to hide the fact that his lip was actually quivering.

 

“And excuse you, Rogers. I thought I was your best friend. I am your best friend! And we’re your family. You can’t go back to the past. And whatever this weird thing is you’re doing where you’re pushing us away, it’s not going to fix anything.”

 

“I’m going to lose you too,” the blond practically whispered.

 

“Uh, no. I’m a sure thing. I have been from the beginning.”

 

That caused Steve to laugh a little. “No. I’m going to have to watch you die. If we went the rest of our lives without fighting villains and lived in a world where we could be normal people, I’d outlive you. All of you. Except Thor. And possibly Bruce. But I’d lose you, Tony. Do you not see that? I’ve lost Bucky. I’m losing him again. And the thought that I’m going to lose you one day too scares the hell out of me.”

 

“Yeah except we live in a world where we do fight villains and okay, our lifespans might be a little shorter because of the risks we take, but you’re not invincible. What do you think losing you would do to us?”

 

“I’m an old man. It has to happen eventually.”

 

“Did you just make a joke? I mean it was bad obviously, but was that a joke?”

 

“Sometimes when I go to sleep at night, I’m back at the train, watching Bucky fall off. But sometimes it’s you or Natasha or Clint or anyone else I care about. And you all have the same fate as Bucky. All of you. I can’t do anything to save you from that.”

 

“That’s not your job. We look out for each other, but we each know the risks. We’re all a bunch of adrenaline junkies. That’s just how it is. But if you ever see me fall from the sky one day, for good, and you ever blame yourself for it, I’m going to come back as a poltergeist who sings NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP at the top of my lungs every time you try to go to bed. I’m also changing your internet connection to dial-up just to spite you. I know you love the Internet so don’t even try to act like that wouldn’t just piss you off. You wouldn’t want us to blame ourselves if something happened to you.”

 

“No, but…”

 

“Yeah all I’m hearing is this applies to me and only me and I carry the weight of the world and all responsibilities on my shoulders.”

 

“No, that’s you, Tony.”

 

“Touché, but we’re talking about you. Steve, please, stop doing this. Stop blaming yourself for things that aren’t your fault. If Bucky is in there somewhere and does come back out, what do you think he’d say to you if he knew you were blaming yourself this much?”

 

Steve mumbled something.

 

“What? I didn’t catch that.”

 

“He’d call me a punk probably.”

 

“Thought so. We can’t change the past. We can’t change anything that’s happened, but we can help each other. Oh my god I sound like my therapist. This is awful.”

 

Steve laughed again, this time a little longer.

 

“There are a lot of things I wish I could change about my past. One of my captors called me the greatest mass murderer in US History. Or something like that. I mostly just remember the greatest mass murderer part. My weapons killed so many innocent people and I will live with that guilt for the rest of my life. But, as my stupid therapist has told me, we learn from the guilt and it makes us stronger. Your mind is on complete overload considering you’re trying to shove 70 years worth of information into that brain of yours, so it makes sense you’d still be beating yourself up over this, but we all have guilt and we all hate ourselves and we take care of each other. You hearing me?”

 

Steve responded by jerking Tony into a tight hug. “I’m sorry. I lost my mind and I’m sorry.”

 

Tony hugged him back for a long time.

 

“You’re forgiven. That was always a given though. We’re all pretty fucked up, but I guess that’s what makes us work yeah?”

 

Steve was silent for a moment. He was drenched, cold and very hungry surprisingly. After a moment though he spoke.

 

“So would you be interested in going out on a second date with a guy like me?”

 

Tony sniffled. “Only if you promise we can go inside right now. I don’t think I can feel my toes anymore.”

 

“I don’t think they’ll let us into the lobby if we’re completely drenched like this,” Steve mused while he swayed with Tony, in the rain, a smile on his face hidden in the hair of the man in his arms.

 

“My building. I think we could definitely both use a shower.”

 

“I think we’re getting one right now.”

 

“I’m so glad your sense of humor has decided to come back at this very moment. I was starting to forget that you’re a huge smartass.”

 

“Mmm...yeah.” He pulled back and looked down at Tony. “Thanks. I mean I’m sure I’ll have have some sort of guilt-ridden meltdown again tonight and probably for a long time, but still, thanks for not mocking me.”

 

“I like to think I’ve matured since we met, Cap.”

 

“I don’t think that’s it.”

 

“You know what? I don’t think I like this backtalk. Date’s off.”

 

“What if I promise to follow through with the plans that were interrupted at the end of our last date?”

 

“I think I could be persuaded then.”

 

They were both smiling, just lightly swaying with each other while strangers came and went. The next thing he knew, Tony was kissing him, holding onto him like he would never let go. Steve was more than okay with that though. He sort of understood the feeling.

 

Finally Tony pulled away and looked up. “I have to get the taste of this emotional therapeutic stuff off my tongue. I can’t believe I was just the professional in this conversation. My therapist better be fucking impressed.”

 

“You’re so romantic, Tony.”

 

“Oh my god. I didn’t mean to turn the sass back on. Get in my damn car.”

 

Steve did just that, taking his shirt off after Tony began driving and wringing the water out all over his floorboard. He didn’t comment, though, when Tony almost wrecked the car when he finally got a good look at him without his shirt.

 

“You’re a monster, Rogers.”

 

“You love it.”

 

Tony was silent for a moment. “Yeah. Yeah I do,” he said thoughtfully.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Please don't take the way I wrote Bucky as "me not liking him." I love Bucky, but I feel like at this point, to me, he'd act like this. If I were to ever continue I'd probably flesh him out a little more because that boy has so much shit to work through.
> 
> Please refrain from throwing tomatoes.


End file.
